When Emotions Take the Mic:

How Feelings Affect Communication

Effective communication is an art that takes practice, patience, and the willingness to listen and understand the other person’s point of view. Communication is essential in our personal and professional lives, and it is the cornerstone of building relationships with others.

Attitude plays a vital role in how we communicate, particularly when we are stressed or under pressure. When we are feeling stressed, our tone can often become more negative, and our comments can come across as angry or aggressive, even if we don’t intend them to be. Conversely, if we are feeling more relaxed or jovial, our tone may be more light-hearted, and our comments may come across as humorous or playful.

The way we convey our stress can have a significant impact on those around us. If we are communicating with someone and our attitude is negative, they may feel defensive or hostile, which can create tension in the conversation. On the other hand, if we are able to maintain a positive attitude, even when we are feeling stressed, we can help to defuse the situation and create a more productive conversation.

I have recently experienced a perfect example of this.  I was taking a 1-hour flight to another city on a 5pm flight. When the flight steward made their announcements, they told us that they were short staffed and it was a full flight, so to ensure we all had the opportunity to enjoy our refreshments they were telling us the choices now to save time. The flight steward’s manner was jovial, and they included a few light-hearted jokes. As the drinks trolley moved swiftly down the aisle it was obvious people had taken notice and were ready with their choice of drink and snack.  When I received my choice, I found myself chewing my crackers and cheese quickly while guzzling the wine all in an attempt to help the flight stewards keep to time.  At the end of the flight, the flight steward gave the instructions for disembarking, thanked us for cooperating and again made some light-hearted comments.  I noticed people turning to their neighbours and smiling.  When people arose to get their bags from the overhead lockers, they were taking down other bags for their neighbours and generally helping one another.  It was 6pm and I assume most people just wanted to get home or get to their hotel and relax after a long day. Normally the general mood would have been sombre and every person looking out for themselves just minding their own business. Instead, the flight steward had turned a stressful situation into a uplifting atmosphere which everyone benefited from.

Similarly with attitude, another critical aspect of effective communication is tone. Tone refers to the way we say something, the inflection in our voice, and the way we emphasize certain words. Our tone can either enhance or detract from the message we are trying to convey, and it can have a profound impact on how others receive and interpret the information.

When we communicate with others, we are not just conveying information; we are also communicating emotions and attitudes. Our tone can reveal our emotions, and if we are not careful, it can send mixed signals to the person we are speaking to. For example, if we are giving someone feedback on their work and our tone is condescending or dismissive, they may interpret our feedback as negative criticism rather than constructive feedback.

Similarly, if we are trying to motivate someone or inspire them to take action, our tone can make all the difference. If we use a flat or monotone voice, we may not be able to convey the urgency or importance of the message. On the other hand, if we use a confident and enthusiastic tone, we are more likely to inspire and motivate the other person.

Our tone can also influence how others perceive us. If we use a rude or aggressive tone, we may be perceived as unapproachable or unprofessional. Conversely, if we use a polite and respectful tone, we are more likely to be seen as courteous and professional.

In summary, the art of communication is about more than just conveying information. It is about using tone to effectively communicate emotions, attitudes, and intentions. Our tone can influence how others receive and interpret our message, and it can have a profound impact on the success of our personal and professional relationships. By being mindful of our tone and actively working to improve it, we can become more effective communicators and build stronger relationships with those around us.